Better Ways On How To Deal With Terrible Threes

How To Deal With Terrible Threes

As a mom, there will be many milestones that your children will go through. Some will put a smile on your face and others might put some disappointing frowns on. How to deal with terrible threes will vary in each family and each child.

These are all part of the learning curves that parents and children go through as we process our own personality.

There will always be a some sort of power struggles with kids. The uncontrollable actions and behaviors are all part of different characteristic attributions. How do you expect each child to behave exactly the same when they’ve been raised differently, you know?

What is considered normal behavior, aggressive behaviors, bad behavior, or good behavior? Who’s to decide what these behaviors mean? What’s the best way to deal with terrible three?

Some Signs Of Terrible Threes

Do you know the signs and how to deal with terrible threes? Some common signs can help you determine how to approach different situations.

Screaming or Yelling – Terrible three comes with mixed emotions that cause frustration. They want everything to go their way so when it doesn’t happen, it tends to lead to screaming and yelling. Sometimes it works because the parents give in, but sometimes it backfires because yelling will not get you anywhere.

Nap/Sleep Struggles – When kids fight their nap time or sleep time, it’s also a sign of terrible 3s. Just like babies around 4 months seem to have sleep regression, terrible 3s can have some sleep struggles as well.

Throwing Things – There are kids who lack expressing emotions verbally, so they turn to physical attributions. They tend to express anger through throwing things.

Hitting, Kicking, Pushing – Physical attributions can also be part of terrible 3s. It can be an onset of struggling to express their emotions or just plain out anger explosion.

Stomping – Stomping is also seen in kids who are upset or angry for not getting their way. It’s a physical expression of letting people know that they are upset.

Everything is NO – NO is one of those words that are often used when kids are upset. They will respond with NO on everything because it’s a mere way of saying they don’t want to talk or they just don’t care for anything at all.

Picky Eaters – Eating changes will occur as well when terrible 3s occur because they are wanting more and more options, or only want to eat certain specific items. Luckily, mine have been really good with food and are not as picky eaters but it’s not the case for everyone.

Seeking Attention – Most if not all kids seek attention. Now there’s a positive attention seekers and negative attention seekers.

The positive attention is received through good behaviors and doing positive things, while negative attention is received through negative behaviors or doing negative things. Terrible 3s will do things

Effective Form Of Discipline

Positive Reinforcement – Positive reinforcers are a great way for children to be rewarded for their good behavior. Reinforcers can be something you as a family or just you and the child to decide.

Sticker Charts – Sticker charts give the children a sense of control as they see the progress they’re making.

Praise Effort – Sometimes, something simple as a praise for the behavior can be enough for the kids to feel appreciated or acknowledged.

Eye Level – Making eye contact in an eye level allows the child to look at you in the eye and vice versa, while you are explaining the effects of the misbehavior.

Redirection – One of my favorite ways to work with kids who are having a difficult time was redirection. When an issue happens in one place with a certain toy or situation, helping them redirect to another location can be very beneficial for that child. It gives them a chance to start fresh in a different area from where the problem had occurred.

List of Family Rules – Having some family rules that everyone can comply to can be a positive way to fewer tantrums. If you validate what the child feels but explain the different things that were expected of him/her, it can be beneficial.

Safe Place – Designated a safe quiet place for your child to go whenever he/she is upset can also be effective way of dealing with all the emotions and frustrations. Give them the choice to see if they want to go read a book in the “safe place.”

Good Techniques – One of the good techniques to practice is giving lots of hugs and praising a great job. Sometimes new experiences or what’s unacceptable behavior might not have been shown. So allowing the child to know that they are loved no matter what but that misbehaviors are dealt with the given rules.

Communication Skills – Often, all it takes are simple things or little things like conversations. Instead of getting angry because the child is angry, try holding a calm conversation. Talk them through the cause of the problem and possible solutions.

If your child is able to fully communicate in words, have them bring out the cause/effect in their own perspective. If the child are not able to communicate in words, you can make suggestions and see what response they give you.

Non-Effective Form Of Discipline

Time-Outs – Next time you think about putting your child on time outs, take a step back and think if it’s a good idea or is it just an easy way? When you tell a child that he or she is on time out, they are usually asked to go to a time-out chair or an isolated area away from everyone else.

Your first instinct is that the child will learn to not repeat the misbehavior by sitting there and thinking about it but that is not always the case. They learn that all they have to do is sit down for a set amount of time and then they can go play. The same procedure is repeated and eventually they learn to just sit for a bit and nothing really happens to them.

Time-Outs don’t work because it doesn’t really teach the child about what they did wrong. It just shows them that when they do something wrong, they are isolated from everyone and everything around them.

This isolation process can actually harm the children more than you think. Mentally, they learn that anytime an unacceptable behavior is done, they will be punished by being sent away in isolation.

Empty Threats- I would be the first person to admit that I’ve done empty threats. Empty threats are when you tell your child that you’re going to do something but then end up not following through.

For example, “You will have to donate one of your toys if we don’t clean-up all the toys,” but then end up not doing anything if your child doesn’t clean up. If you want something done, make sure you follow through on your end so that the child doesn’t see it as an empty threat.

Physical Punishment – One thing that never works is physical punishment. To some, it may seem like an instant fix but it’s not. Not only can it leave a permanent scar (emotionally, physically, and mentally,) but it can leave a resentful feeling for the child to render against you.

Harsh Punishment – The word “punishment” is already harsh for me. I’m not quite sure what harsh punishments there can be, but it’s probably not the best of ideas either. Why punish?

Child’s Doctor – Your child’s doctor’s name should not be coming up constantly unless you are making a visit to se them. Often parents use their child’s doctor as an excuse to give their kids a little scare but it shouldn’t be the case.

Helpful Ideas And Tips

Healthy Snack – Providing health snacks can also help with mood swings or anger. Sometimes when a stomach is empty, all sort of emotions arise. As adults, we get “hangry” when our stomach is empty or needs some mid-day snacks.

Remember kids are used to having small snacks throughout the day. Keeping them healthy like fruits and vegetables are a great way to encourage better mood.

Daily Routine – Having a set routine that they follow on a daily basis is a good idea too. Repetitive activities and similar patterns can help them distinguish what’s to come next. A change in activities can sometimes cause a disturbance in their behavior because what they expected was not happening.

Nap Time – Depending on the age and what the child needs, nap times can be crucial part of the day as well. If you see that your child seems to get angry or upset often, it can also be a sign that they need some rest time. Even if a short 30 minute nap or a laying down and resting can help them get refreshed.

Play Times – Play times are a great learning time for the children. Making sure that they have age appropriate materials to play with is a key component to their learning.

Deep Breath – Asking your child to take deep breathes when anger seems to arise is a good start. The first instinct when a change in behavior seems to happen is to teach them to breath. Breathing, most of the time, if not always will help calm the nerves and assist in controlling emotions.

How to deal with terrible three will vary among families, parents, moms, dads, and whoever is raising the child. Being able to understand and work with these young children is a key on how to deal with terrible threes, It might get frustrating for both the parents and the child but it will get better with various techniques and guidance.

Related: Anger Management